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Swords are Sexy (You know they are!)

Swords are Sexy

Growing up, I was never exactly boy crazy. I went to an all girl’s Catholic school, and when a boy band came to give us a special concert, I snuck away and hid in the chapel (because the the library was locked against lurkers like me). I loved my fellow classmates, but I just couldn’t stand the horrible roaring sound they were making in the auditorium, and I didn’t know who the band was anyway. I did have a Leonardo DiCaprio thing going on for awhile, but that faded.

But to this day you can show me a hot guy with a sword and I lose the ability to speak.

I stutter. I turn red. I smile incessantly and I say stupid things and my words all run together and I blink like I have something in my eye. I avoid eye contact and flip my hair.

I flip my freaking hair!

What happened to me, you ask?

The sword debilitated me, that’s what. I blame it all on the sword. Debilitating people is what they’re designed for, after all. Swords shred me.

Look at this man:

 

Now look at the same man after he has picked up a sword:

 

I cannot stand up to the mystical power.

I don’t think it’s the violence that does it. I think if I actually saw someone killed with a sword, I’d be absolutely horrified and run away, however sexy he was. No, it’s something else. Something more psychological, perhaps primal.

Could it be the phallic symbolism?

Could it be an evolutionary response dating back to the bronze age, which makes me think a man with a sword is capable of protecting me from other tribes, and is thus worthy of my devotion and lust?

Could it be because swords are shiny?

I don’t think so. I’m not really a fan of shiny things.

Don’t know.

And by the way, guns are not the same. At all.

I even made a gallery of people holding swords. You should send me a picture of you holding a sword for the gallery! (What do you mean Why? Come on, sword me, baby!) Email it to me at HelloL@Mythraeum.com with the subject line “Sword Pic Baby!” I’ll share the most fun ones on the blog!

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L. Marrick is an author, ghostwriter and suitcase entrepreneur, which is a hipster way of saying she travels and works from her laptop. She writes about archetypes, spirituality, and history at Mythraeum.com. Follow her on Twitter @LMarrick, and on Facebook.

© Leslie Hedrick 2015. The content of this article, except for quoted or linked source materials, is protected by copyright. Please contact the author at the above links to request usage.

 


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